only 4 more days and 2 finals until this godawful term is over. i mean, i have loved being in school, and learning and studying and writing papers and all, but this last couple of weeks have really taken their toll. not to mention the surgery and the sick toddler around midterms. i just want a fresh start and new ideas to bounce around.
i have all sorts of thoughts about this last few months. the classes and life in general. it has been both harder and easier than i thought to leave the stay at home mom life and start out in the world again.
now i wish that i hadn't thought of it all as jack's life so much. i wish that i had been able to realize that it was my experience as well, learning from him. and god i have learned so much from that kid. and more every day. i just wish i had the patience he deserves.
i'm looking forward to the weeks of winter break to spend time with him, playing and relaxing and doing christmas-y things. i am so excited that he is a kid now, i can't wait to have the time to show him some of the stuff i have been saving.
i'm working on an advent calendar. my intention was to fill it with candy and tom and i could eat our way to xmas, but at this rate i won't be done until new years. we'll just eat all the candy then i suppose.
tom took jack to visit my father for the annual boat ride with santa. jack got his first experience with the whole thing and it was sort of a backstage pass kind of deal and he seemed to be pretty impressed. i don't know how to do the whole santa thing, but i suppose we'll just play it by ear like other parents. but i am oh so good at overplanning.
my car is in the shop due to an unfortunate incident involving my mother sort of driving into traffic while i stood on the other side of my living room window screaming at all of them to stop and watching my poor subaru get smashed up once again. i feel terrible for her that she feels so responsible, so we aren't talking about it and i just tried to enjoy the zippy little toyota she rented for us. we return it tomorrow though and i am back to driving the tiny little honda that evilcat and poverty are kindly loaning back to us. i'm very grateful, but i am not looking forward to installing the damn carseat in that tiny car. (in the dark, in 20 degree cold. thus, my blogging to avoid it.)
my mother's cancer has grown and i am so scared about all of it. she starts on oral chemo this week and hopefully that will do it's job. some people can maintain "for years even". but those aren't really the sort of odds i was hoping for. if a couple of years is the best case, i can't even let myself think of the worst. so i stress about the final projects and final tests. and then i procrastinate until i am almost at the point of self-sabotage and then i save my own ass.
excuse me while i commence ass-saving.