July 01, 2009

Ten Years Gone

 

You were always big on eye rolls

A subtle sideways downward shift when something was

amusing or off

And, when something was ridiculous, snorting rolls that showed

the whites of your eyes, behind bifocals.

You drank from a deep well.

You were a sloping bear.

A mossy cave, a cool refuge from the dappled forest.

Once, you were a teenage boy taking turns too fast in a Model T Ford.

I do not know if you found what you were looking for.

I wasted time when you were alive,

too dark for my own good,

before I was taught the true nature of sorrow.

I wish you could know me now.

We could talk about things that only barely interested me then---

country music, Russian history, Emeliano Zapata, cooking.

But if you had not gone, who would I be?

So much of what I became was because I missed you,

and tried to fill spaces with the things you loved.

January 12, 2009

music: Iron and Wine, The Shepherd's Dog

So much has happened, so many very significant things, that at the moment I feel incapable of catching up. Suffice to say, I got married, went on an awesome honeymoon, traveled some more, got laid off, lost my dear cat, Castor, and turned 30. Hopefully this traditional annual meme, inspires, as usual, by the anatomist, will provide a little more depth.

2008, in list form.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before ?

Got married. Turned 30. Visited New Orleans. Made decent money. Felt happy with my job.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't remember what they were, honestly. They were probably something along the lines of 'try to be nicer and keep making an effort to stay in shape.' I am usually pretty vague. If I'm correct, I did better on the second option than the first.

I made similar resolutions for this year. Surprise, surprise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Annie

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My beautiful, wonderful cat, Castor was hit by a car. He had the most perfect paws and a deep, comforting purr that made me feel as though all of my troubles were fleeting and inconsequential. I think about him on the hour.

5. What countries did you visit?

Does New Orleans count? I think it almost does. (Also, Mykal's property in norther California is ALMOST like a third world country.)

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

success as a writer, fun in Mexico

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 26, my wedding date. Usually I can't answer this type of question because I rarely remember dates. But along with July 1 (the date of my dad's death) and August 27th (the day I flew to Minneapolis to be with Rich), I imagine I will remember July 26th, 2008.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Working on my book almost every day. Surviving the fallout from Shayna's death, Sam's death, and Jack's accident. Having fun on my own wedding day.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Being an asshole, as per usual.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My beautiful black coat that I bought in a garage in New Orleans.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Rich, K-mart, Tom, Becky, Cedar, Orq, Jake, Rose, Frank, Zoey, Rachel, Kat, Chris, Kevin, Irv, Eileen, Kristin, and Annie stand out for specific reasons...(But really, I think most of my friends' behavior this year merits celebration.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My mother's during the weeks leading up to the wedding. Sometimes my own behavior.

14. Where did most of your money go?

the wedding. food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

our honeymoon, being in New Orleans, the election

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Ocean of Diamonds by Scot H. Birham

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

happier, thinner and poorer. 

Not very much thinner...But a lot happier and a lot poorer.  (Last year at this time, Sam and Shayna had both died months earlier and Jack had just had his accident.)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

relaxing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

stressing

20. How did you spend Christmas?

in Deadwood in the snow  (happily)

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

with New Orleans

22. What was your favorite TV program?

On Netflix, I enjoyed Dexter, Dead Like Me, and Weeds

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

no

24. What was the best book you read?

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Hayes Carll, Amy Winehouse (ridiculous but true), Maybe the Felice Brothers and the Avitt Brothers, but that may have been last year...

26. What did you want and get?

I can not really express how greatful I am to all the people, many of them seemingly random, who made my wedding and honeymoon so much better than I could have possibly imagined.

27. What did you want and not get?

continuing happiness with my two cats

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

hmm...I am drawing a blank. It doesn't seem like a very movie-oriented year.  To refesh my memory I just typed 'best movies of 2008' into Google. I hadn't seen any of the movies in the list that came up.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I dressed up like Keith Richards, drank vodka from a IV kit, and turned 30. It was great.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not letting the stress of the wedding get to me. Being a best-selling author who didn't have to worry about money.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

I was going for a classic look.

32. What kept you sane?

wine, Becky, Rich, cooking

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Apart from my usual icons such as Tom Waits and John Prine, Obama, I guess. I was clearly not spending enough time on Pink is the New Blog.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

It was all pretty stirring this year.

35. Who did you miss?

snowball. Sam. dirtrock. Shayna. Castor. My dad.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Zoie

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

You are lucky to know the people you know, luckier than you ever realized.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"You love the people that love you.
You hear the music they move to.
You give your ode to the fall through.
But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know."-Atmosphere


July 01, 2008

Greenwood


IMG_4966
Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.
On Saturday Poverty and Cornelius and I went to the Greenwood car show, which was pretty awesome. I was a little hungover but not so hungover that the cars hurt my eyes. Cornelius has posted some cool pictures on flickr.
That evening we went down to Georgetown ostensibly to look at art and see some music. Of course we spent most of the time in bars. Note to self: do not drink anything titled 'bilgewater', formally or otherwise.

June 11, 2008

reflection


reflection
Originally uploaded by renaluelle.
I love how these pictures make our house look like it is actually classy.

windowsill


windowsill
Originally uploaded by renaluelle.
Windowsill at Liberty house, taken by Renaluelle.

gold and silver


gold and silver
Originally uploaded by renaluelle.
I love this photo that Kevin's friend Rena took of my beautiful golden fawn. In the background you can see a photograph of my grandmother, Muriel, in one of her stage productions.

June 05, 2008

Ahh...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Just scroll down through her blog a little until you come to 'dialog between presidents in the white house of the underworld'. It is a must read for those of you who are history nerds.

June 03, 2008

And now for something slightly more cheerful...

courtesy of my dear Sylvia, a list we made at a Portland bar.

May 30, 2008

life's a bitch, isn't it?

I'm having one of those weeks where I want to retreat back into my bed, back into a childhood I never had--one where somebody actually brings me things like hot mugs of tea.
No, I'm not sick. Just tired.

I'm tired of making an effort, tired of being nice, tired of being patient. I'm tired of drinking and partying, and I'm equally tired of being constructive. I'm tired of making the effort to be attractive, and I'm tired of feeling unattractive.

I wish I was six years old again.

May 29, 2008

royal memosa


royal memosa
Originally uploaded by anatomist.
For the anatomist, poverty, and me, the day after was just as fun.

May 27, 2008

Sam Theoharris Memorial Celebrity Croquet Tournament a Success



Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.
People swarmed the Sam Theoharris memorial croquet court Sunday, parading in various interpretations of resort wear. At least thirty (or so) people actually coughed up the 5 dollar entry fee (to go to the final cash prize) and everyone else lounged around in the grass drinking a substance we, in the northwest, call jungle juice.
This group here represents the more low rent end of the resort wear costume theme, but Jf, on the right, actually won the tourney, so they are clearly not to be trifled with. Apparently Jf wasn't even planning on competing until Yahbro (in the yellow shirt) gave him 'an amazing speech about only needing five dollars and a dream'.

me and chelse



Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.
This is a horrible picture of the gorgeous Chels, but I don't think she reads this blog, so I feel relatively safe in posting it.

May 19, 2008

The anatomist tagged me to fill out this survey...

What were you doing five years ago?
Living in a basement apartment in Olympia, preparing to move to Seattle in two weeks. I rode my bike to work and back every day, sometimes stopping for a happy hour burger at Ben Moore's on my way home. I worked in a deadend job in a book warehouse writing catalog copy for Spanish language books. My job involved writing advertising for self help books and the Spanish translation of the Left Behind series. I was coming out of a long lonely stretch and had started spending a lot of time drinking beer at a dive bar called McCoy's with my friends Phil and Gina. I don't remember what I thought about moving to Seattle. Was I excited? Maybe. I think I am the sort of person who doesn't contemplate the implications of major decisions because I know that if I do I will never make any changes. So I don't think I thought too deeply on how moving to Seattle would effect the relationship I was in, or the friendships I had, or the life I led. I just wanted out of that small town existence, so I was getting ready to jump.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
buy stamps for wedding invites

make spaghetti

work on book

write lesson plan

catch up on email

(fucking mondays)

What are five snacks you enjoy?

cheese

toast with brewer's yeast and butter

V-8

most types of nuts except for peanuts and those moldy tasting Brazil nuts

apples

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

give money to my friends and family, especially my cousin

buy the land I grew up on

travel around the world with Rich

hire the anatomist to be my assistant

give more money to bums

What are five of your bad habits?

drinking too much coffee

drinking too much in social situations

being aggressively moody

avoiding things I dislike dealing with

snapping at my students

What are five places where you have lived?

a mansion in ballard

an apartment in belltown

a shack in Mexico

a house in Tumwater

(and a closet in Eugene, Oregon)

What are five jobs you have had?

sold wooden animals and saints

yarded logs

wrote advertising for Spanish language self helf books

waitressed at Deja Vu

wrote PowerPoint presentations for a ten year old teacher

What five people do you want to tag?

Kristin

Sylvia

Kat

hombrelibre


poverty

May 14, 2008

a reminder...

I am blogging more regularly at Keep Seattle Seedy. But I promise to continue thrilling you with this blog...and I promise I won't blog about The Babysitter's Club on a regular basis. The market is flooded anyway.

ah...stonybrook

Sylvia sent me a link to this blog, which is focused on the wardrobe of Claudia Kishi, a member of the babysitters club. I obsessively read every entry and have now moved on to exploring the babysitters club Web community, which is frighteningly extensive. I guess I really don't spend that much time exploring the Web--I can barely keep up with my email and my friend's blogs. I forgot how weird the Web really is. There are seemingly hundreds of adults out there who bond by discussing the minituae of a series of children's books about babysitters. And now I'm blogging about it. Obsessively.  I was joking with the anatomist about it.
Me: What did people do before the Internet? I mean did they just keep their obsessions to themselves?
anatomist: No, they went to the bar and were like 'So, do you still read baby sitter's club books?' No? Uh, me neither!"